Bored, in the end.

Just another day in Southend-on-sea

With a broken pier and a beach soaked in wee

My friends have all gone to Alton Towers

And one of them is regretfully going out with Dane Bowers

It looks like I’ve got nothing to do

My sole is slipping, so I should mend my shoe

But instead I expect I’ll just stay indoors

Watching Quizmania and Robot Wars

Or I could go out and attack the Arcades

Wait for the 3 cherries and then get paid

Spend my money on a big cuddly Panda

Then tie him to a Police car, funny enough, a Panda

Can you rhyme Panda with Panda?

Too late, I’ve done it now so I’ll just quickly add the words ‘floor sander’

I saw the crazy man with the owl that walks up and down the street

I could have sworn the owl looked at me and told me I had big feet

Off I walk, up to QD, past the pervy Clown

With his sinister eyes and his worrying pose and his painted upside down frown

I stand at the top of escalators and throw wine gums at the Goths

Stalking their benches like crows, they wish, those Brandon Lee loving moths

It’s time to go home and home I go, thinking I’ve achieved nothing at all

But I’ve poked fun at a Police car, won lots of quids and telepathically tuned into an Owl

I even channelled my hatred for students in a healthy, civilised way

So it’s not all bad being bored in Southend, the end but a shiny decay