Monday, 1 August 2011

Yes shit Sherlock.

Robert Downey Jnr,

You disappoint me,

With your Cocker Spaniel hair,

And faux eccentricity,

It's time you left your tent pegs at home,

For you've played 'camp' so much,

It's become your syndrome,

And what was the point of Rachel McAdam's character?

Hang on, let me rephrase that,

What is the point of Rachel McAdams?

I preferred Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman,

And the homosexual undertones of Sherlock sharing semen,

I did not care for Guy Ritchie's hammy fodder,

He should go and find Jason Statham and that book of rhyming slang,

And go back to his films about shifty London gangs,

With his 'cor blimey guvnor's' and his 'apples 'n' pears',

He should turn Del Boy into a gangster and call it,

'He who dares Rodney, he who dares',

But no more Sherlock! No!

Leave that to the BBC,

And spare me the approaching doom of Sherlock Holmes 3.

1 comment:

Jeremiah Walton said...

Crass and well written. A great poem. It has bite